My dog has Cancer
You are either a dog person or not. I’ve had a sketchy past with dogs. When I was around 2 years old, about the age of my little boy now, a Pitbull bit me on the head and its jaws locked on me. This resulted in a bloody gashing head wound that I’m sure traumatized my parents more than me and several stitches in my forehead. Fortunately, I was too young to hold a grudge against dogs and too small to recall that event at all. Years later I was attacked by two German Shepard’s but luckily escaped with only torn clothes. Those events never cast a shadow over dogs for me, in fact I can’t remember not liking dogs, usually greeting them and ignoring their owners.
They are honest. It’s usually pretty easy to see when they’re happy, scared or angry… they wear their hearts on their paws. We had dogs growing up, but it doesn’t compare to the dogs that are yours when you’re older. I’d always liked Jack Russell’s and my ex also liked dogs, so I thought it would be romantic and wonderful to expand our little world with an adopted pup as a Valentines gift. We named her Layla. Soon after we realized that the little puppy would get bored by herself, so we adopted a little brother for her… Kai, the funniest mix – a FUG, fox-terrier cross pug. He has the classic pug corkscrew tail and darkened stripe down his back, but with a snout dodging the genetics for a flat face resulting in snoring and other breathing issues.
Shortly after getting these fury friends my ex left and my world fell apart. I had never experienced such loss and depression. At the time I was photographing weddings regularly and my week involved staring at a computer screen at these couples in love, reminding me of what I’d lost. Then the weekend would come and I’d shoot another wedding, feeling happy for them, but empty and hopeless inside. During a year of depression my two dogs saved me. Not intentionally and not by just one act, but being consistently there. Having something to pour love on and see grow, and respond with affection softened me. Everyday I walked them in my local park and everyday I got out the house, out from under that cloud of depression. I got some fresh air and exercise as I watched my two dogs just do dog stuff… and it’s what I needed. Those moments helped me process. They would never betray or leave me and have loved me unconditionally. I’ve learnt a lot going through that and I’m forever grateful to Layla and Kai for unknowingly supporting me through some really rough times.
Today I got the call I’ve been expecting for a week now. I don’t like living with ‘what if’ questions so I had pushed the situation to the back of my mind. But I knew as the vet said hello, that it was not good news. A week ago Kai had to have his spleen removed to prevent a rupture and further internal bleeding. He has recovered surprisingly well after the op, but a biopsy was sent for review. The vet said that my dog has cancer and my body immediately felt 20kgs heavier. A familiar feeling rises… impending loss. With a heavy chest I remind myself that there is beauty in tragedy. That things are precious because they don’t last and the now is what’s most important. If you have a fury friend, give them an extra cuddle from me.